6.00am – Wake up. First job of the day; wake up the rest of the house with the song of my people interspersed with shouting the names of each of my family members repeatedly. I find they enjoy this combination the most out of all those I have tried.
6.30am – Now everyone is awake I can commence with my first game of ‘hide in the curtains’. I have become a master of this over the past few months, my family never find me!
6.32am – Still in the curtains. Told you I was good at this.
6.35am – Mummy finds me! I hear her refer to this as ‘taking pity on me’. I think this is how grown ups say your amazing at something.
7.00am – Remember I haven’t eaten for 12 hours and shout loudly and repeatedly about this injustice.
7.10am – Silly mummy made the wrong breakfast…on the floor it goes.
7.15am – Second breakfast is better, although I have still thrown some on the floor to show I don’t accept bad service.
7.30am – PEPPA PIG MARATHON!
7.37am – Have pooped. Announce this loudly to mummy and then do my very best ‘worm’ impression as she tries to change me.
8.00am – As it’s school holidays I will spend the next few hours playing with/annoying my big brother. This mainly involves demanding any toy he wants, shows an interest in or may show an interest in over the next year.
10.15am – Mummy said we need to go burn off some energy so now were in the car. Grown ups are strange!
11.00am – The car has stopped and mummy tells me we have arrived at somewhere called Sledmere House This looks fun; playground, tractors, a castle, animals and lots of mud!
12.45pm – Have been forcibly removed from the tractors as mummy says I am tired. I AM NOT TIRED!
12.47pm – Zzzzzzzzzz
1.15pm – Am awake again, despite mummy’s best attempts. Have telepathically requested only green foods on a green plate for lunch.
1.30pm – The service around here is shocking. I ASKED FOR GREEN FOOD!
2.00 pm – Must play with tractors and only tractors. If it’s not a tractor it will be thrown, bashed or broken
3.00pm – Have discovered the Tractor Song by Blippi
5.00pm – Still listening to Blippi!
5.15pm – Tea. Mummy keeps banging on about sharing so I share my tea with the cat. Am also on the countdown for Daddy getting home from work so will shout ‘Daddy!’ loudly at any noise just in case it’s him coming through the door.
6.00pm – Bath! Watch how much of this water I can make jump out of the tub and land on the floor in 10 minutes. It’s a skill.
6.30pm – DADDY IS HOME!!! Mummy has disappeared…hmmm how strange.
7.00pm – Mummy says it’s bedtime, as I am tired. What is her issue with telling me I’m tired all the time. I AM NOT TIRED!
7.15pm – Zzzzzzzzz
Have you read these yet?
- The 10 stages of teething every parent goes through
- 5 things you don't need to hear as a parent
- From spreadsheets to sing-a-longs
- The Alternative Baby Milestones