When you decide or maybe when it's thrust upon you to become a mother, the expectation can often (sadly) be a little less glamorous than you initially thought. Whilst I maintain that the good days most definitely outweigh the bad, there is no getting away from the fact that sometimes, just sometimes, motherhood can be hard!
There are many things that I did not expect from motherhood, here are 5 that took me by surprise.
When I fell pregnant one of the first things that became evident was my emotions. As expected they were a little all over the place. I cried at TV ads, songs on the radio and I even cried once when my husband ate the mozzarella and sun dried tomatoes that I had been craving. This all seemed ridiculous to me but I assumed it would go and normal service would return after the baby was born. WRONG! Things got worse, not worse in a bad way but my heart of ice had melted and I was now a bag of emotions, I well up at the slightest of things, I still cry at TV ads, and when it comes to news stories on children being abandoned, hurt, living in war torn countries, or anything else along that lines I can barely control myself. The switch on my emotions has well and truly been flipped and I can go from 0-100 on the emotion scale in less than 2 seconds. I don't know how or why it happens but it's happened!
The Mummy Guilt
Mummy guilt was something I honestly didn't get? Why would you feel guilty as a mother, what could you possibly do that would leave you with the feeling of guilt? Oh the naivety! This is one that no one escapes, believe me. The funny thing about this is that the guilt comes from within, we create it ourselves. Our little loves don't make us feel guilty, let’s face it they’re too young to understand. I felt guilty the first day I left him at nursery, I felt guilty the day I took him for his first jabs, I now feel guilty for feeding him pizza and chips most days. All of these things don't matter as long as they’re happy, healthy and content, we're just crazy ass mama's.
Before I became a mum I had very little to no patience. Patience was one thing I worried about during pregnancy, I would often wonder how I would cope when my baby was screaming constantly or if my toddler misbehaved. How would I be patient with my child when I found it difficult to be patient with anything else. Again, this is something that just happened over night. The overwhelming attachment that you have with your child pushes you into some crazy protective mother bear mentality and your patience quadruples. Don't get me wrong there are days when he tests my patience to the bitter end, but I'm learning that art of counting to 10 and walking away!
I admit, I was one of those mothers who said, 'I will never let me child do that'. Pre children, I think we're all a little like that, we like to believe that our children will be perfect. The reality is, when you become a mum, you break almost every single rule that you said you wouldn't. I guess it's a tough gig and sometimes we all need a break. One massive thing I have learnt in motherhood is definitely not to judge, as the saying goes we're all battling things no one knows anything about.
This is a biggie for me, it's not something that I have ever admitted until recently, but motherhood, as delightful as it is can often been quite a lonely gig. I never expected to feel alone, to feel like I am no good at it or to feel like I was sinking. In the grand scheme of things I'm not, but things change after you have a baby and whilst I am extremely lucky to have lots of mummy friends, I often feel a bit lost in myself. I never expected to suffer the 'blues' or PND but it happened, the hardest part was admitting it! I used to think it was a failing, but it’s not, it's just a part of me, a part of me that came with a huge life changing, utterly amazing reward, it's not something that defines me or affects my ability to be a good mother, it's just this added extra bit that I am now learning to live with, kinda like an annoying little devil on your shoulder.
Having said all of the above I wouldn’t change motherhood for the WORLD! In fact I can't wait to do it all again, I want to expand our family. The best bits more than outweigh the bad bits. I truly believe that life isn't quite complete until you've had kids!
Read more from Kirsty on her blog - www.moreofmeblog.co.uk